angel chiasson

autumn in austin

2011-11-04T11:04:00.001-05:00

the days have been gorgeous lately, and the nights getting cooler...into the 40's even. all of this moderate temperature is making things bloom, calling us all to be outdoors and breath in and out the serenity and beauty of each day.

i'm falling in love in many ways ...feeling the blessings that seem to be falling on me like stars pouring down from the heavens.

i'm whispering prayers of thanks and gratitude and asking for blankets of love to wrap around these feelings, cherished moments, dreams coming true. life is too good not to grab hold of.

and we all deserve it, the wonderfulness of everything possible and sweet.

amazing grace.

lingering there...holding it close, and knowing that all is right.

stronger every day

2011-10-07T12:41:00.000-05:00

through every step we take in this life....the challenges, the celebrations, the big and small moments....we are making our way. and as we make our way, we make choices. are you going to let a hurt defeat you, or will you grow stronger from it? will you grab a hold of something amazing in front of you, and let the joy expand and spill over to everything else in your life? that would be my choice...that IS my choice. we get strength through it all...the good and the bad. i'm taking it all in, these days that have sometimes been hard, but mostly so full and tender and sweet...loving where the path takes me.

when i was recovering this summer in colorado...this was the road i walked every day, a winding road that went past gorgeous acres filled with animals and wildflowers, and a heavenly view of the rocky mountains. i had many companions along the way, one being rasputin...a gorgeous warmblood who i would love on and talk to every morning. this huge horse has enough strength to crush me...but he is the sweetest boy with the most gentle spirit.

and then there were the puppies...providing so much humor and joy to the household. when i was first there, they weren't this big...but they are growing so fast and recently when i returned to colorado they accompanied me on walks.

the days were so full of big and small moments that renewed my spirit and gave me strength both physically and soulfully. i've been home for awhile and i am back to work in all kinds of ways...jumping into life and gathering all of the sweetest surprises coming my way.

i feel stronger than i think i ever have in my life and i wish the same for all of you. xoxo

cracked...but not broken

2011-09-19T10:13:00.000-05:00

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.

Leonard Cohen

it feels like forever since i've made it over here to this little place of mine...this blog. it's not that i didn't have anything to say or share...i guess i just had to get to that place of being ready. i have even spent the last 3 + months wondering if having this blog was what i really needed to do anymore. i've never been really good at keeping it up. but it is the connection with those of you like-minded, dream-chasing artists that keep me coming back and wanting to breath in and out the stories of our lives, our souls, our passion to follow the creative gifts we've been given.

as i write this, i am in one of my most favorite places in the world...a place of refuge and recovery. i am where there are views of the colorado mountains, fields of flowers and horses and bunnies...and precious family members who have embraced me and loved me and taken care of me. i am back in colorado for a 3 month post-op of tests and visits with an unbelievably amazing neurosurgeon who took me to the operating room for major neck surgery. this time i am here with great anticipation and excitement and a growing strength that i did not have 3 months ago when i arrived for surgery. those days were filled with pain and anxiety and b*i*g fears. those days are behind me.

during these last three months, recovery has included everything from physical challenges where taking 30 steps were a big deal....to the sweet realization of what the love of family and friends can do to nurture you (knowing so deeply how blessed i am to have that)...and eventually big-hearted, happy, tender moments when hearing a favorite song made me get up and dance barefoot again. my eyes are wide open, and my heart and body so ready to jump into this brilliant life i have been given.

fear - less

2011-05-06T15:15:00.000-05:00

doing happy dances over here...

my art was selected to be in Somerset Studio magazine may/june issue.

this was a call for art submissions about being fearless.

so...being brave...i submitted my two pieces and a "article".

and although my writing was not published,

this time...

i will try again.

that is a big wish of mine someday, to have my art and my words in print.

putting it out there, offering it up, saying it out loud.

these are the words i wrote for these two pieces:

What does it mean to be fearless? The word touches me to the core of my soul.

Fearless = strength, bravery, courage.

There are many days that I don’t feel fearless. There have been many times in my life that I have let fear hold me back. Fear of not being enough, fear of making the wrong choice, fear of success and fear of failure. But when I really stand in my own true self, I realize that I have been brave beyond anything that I ever could have imagined.

As a young woman I stood strong in a failing marriage. Standing in that shattered dream, with a baby on the way, I pushed forward on the path of being a single mom. Having a child definitely awakens a new part of you, and for me – it drew up many kinds of fears, but it also created in me a strength and determination that I never knew I had. This wonderful, scary, and fulfilling time of my life spent “growing” my son has meant growing for me too. As parents, we think we will teach our children about life, but I believe it is through our parenting that we learn what life is really all about. I’ve learned so much from my “boy” – who is now 21 years old. I’ve learned about making hard choices, and holding on to will and determination. I’ve learned to pursue dreams and embrace life, and to really, really love. And I’ve learned that it is not without fear that we do these things, but through the fear we gain the strength, the bravery, and the courage for life.

beeing brave

2011-04-25T14:16:00.002-05:00

i put the words out there...whispered them into the wind, wrote them across my soul,
and labeled them in black and white.
here, on this little place of mine...that i sometimes forget can be so very public,
i wrote the words that I felt so deeply.
but did i really understand where those words would be taking me?

break. open. my. heart.

it's a scary thing...stepping into the life you know you were meant to live. i'm learning lessons about people + myself + love + showing up.
some lessons open my heart so big and have me twirling and dancing in my bare feet.
some lessons have me down on my knees.
being brave means facing fears and pushing through them.
being brave means giving of yourself, without expecting anything in return.
i've said before that i am a late bloomer, and some of these lessons,
you'd think I would have already learned.
but it's okay, being a late bloomer.
i'm going to bloom big + strong + beautiful.
no matter what the outcome...it is in the loving and the showing up and laying it out in black and white that we become who we truly were meant to be.
just bee.

what is blooming in you?

2011-03-29T17:48:00.000-05:00

after what has seemed like a long dark winter...i am asking the question, seeking the answers.

what is blooming in me?

outside, around me -i notice the sweetness of spring beginning again. every day i notice, however brief the moment, and i dwell there in the sweetness.

the bulbs are growing and searching and reaching for the heavens...am i?

the birds are so playful and busy at their life work...am i?

am i reaching for the best in life, and taking what it has to offer in this season?

i want to move past the everyday things that tie me up and push me down. these worldly things that sometimes make me a shadow of who i really am. i am witnessing the growth and renewal in the gift of nature and i am trying to find the lessons in these small precious things.

the lesson that we can never stop seeking the goodness in life.

that we can never never never never give up.

but where to begin? in all that rushes past everyday....where do you pick up and start again?

and then...on sunday...sitting in a pew by myself in a place that i go to for comfort.

simple words...from a humble man.

words spoken that were meant for all.

but for me, they were like water for a soul that has been parched and dry and empty.

break open my heart.

break...open...my...heart

not for sadness or hardship or grief

but open for new life.

open to this life.

she grew and grew and grew

2011-01-03T10:26:00.003-06:00

i'm so happy to say that this work of mine is in this jan/feb issue of somerset studio magazine! and oh my goodness, i just now realized my works are showing on the website page promoting the current issue. i...am...so...thrilled!!

my other piece that i submitted is in there too....

the wonderful foks at somerset studio sent me an email to let me know, and then the week before christmas i got my copy of the issue in the mail! what a sweet christmas gift it was to hold that in my hands. yes, i am proud of myself for the accomplishment. i've been published in somerset studio magazine before, but it had been awhile since i sent in any work. things just sort of got in the way - like the big girl job, and getting my boy through the end of high school and sending him off to college. there have been some hard things to get through since i first challenged myself to try and get published a little over four years ago. i had recently discovered the magazine and was so blown away that there was actually a magazine that was dedicated to mixed media art. i've set new challenges for myself again, and this was one of them. sweet, sweet, rewards!

if you've been holding back, standing outside of your own dreams...step in and take the chance. it's a great feeling just trying to do something you didn't believe that you could. believe. step in.

christmas eve gift

2010-12-24T11:08:00.000-06:00

in the rare quiet moments of today and in the softest morning hour

i am honoring this time as a remembrance of the truest christmas gift.

and then...in the not so quiet moments, there is the other side of this celebratory time...

my family has a few traditions we celebrate during christmas.

one of these has to do with the nativity scenes we display in our homes.

baby jesus comes out of a hiding place and is gently arranged in the manger that has been waiting .

and on christmas eve day...we compete in an old game of trying to be the first to say "christmas eve gift" to another family member. whoever says it first is supposed to get a gift from the slower poke.

this has become more and more competitive over the years, with results like my mom pretending to be asleep while her sweet husband brings her a cup of morning coffee in bed and just when he quietly delivers it to the nightstand next to her, she opens one eye and whispers...."christmas eve gift", with laughter spilling over and the score keeping begins with the "i got you"..."i got him", and on and on.

as this silly game has progressed over the years with family members playing jokes on each other in order to be the "winner" - the winner who by the way never really receives an extra gift....it has gone from a simple way to answer the phone on christmas eve to surprise the caller....to the scheming of our sons who now take it farther by sneaking into the grandparent's room at midnight to "get them first".

although our lives arrive at this time of the year with stresses and expectations or disappointment that things aren't going the way we thought they would, there is always something, some small precious something that we can be grateful for. lean towards that, let it be the little glimmer that holds you up.

wishing you sweet memories in the making...with sugar plums dancing in your dreams

grow your love

2010-12-17T14:57:00.001-06:00

every little bit of love makes life better.

i'm really seeing this. i'm trying hard to take it all in...the sweet tender give and take between friends, the way a favor can make a moment between two people feel warm and happy. shared laughter...that is the best! why should this time of year be crazy and hectic? that truly is the opposite of what we should have in our lives right now. i'm taking in all of the love that i feel come my way these days. i'm soaking it up and sending it out the best i can, even if at times, it is only in wishes.

grateful

2010-12-06T09:59:00.000-06:00

i've been thinking so much lately about serious things. about what is going on in this life, in this world, and in my little part of it. sometimes it can feel a little scary and dark and i let the worries run wild and rampant. but isn't it funny how that can happen more when you are tired, or at night....usually at night. while i have been thinking about such things, usually the next feeling i have is a sense of being grounded and secure....deep down secure. and grateful. grateful for so many things...
my sweet boy and the reflection of what all of those years were about. my family. the four girls and all of the "boys" that have been added to that little nest.

i'm thankful for the chances i've taken, the places i have landed, and every single day that opens up for me.

isn't it yummy?

2010-11-04T19:51:00.000-05:00

autumn, that is. just yummy. my favorite time of year.

but even more so now that I have had a taste of it in oregon.

i've been to some pretty places in the usa during this blissful time of year.

the northeast is amazing for sure. aspens in the rockies are breathtaking.

but recently i got to experience some of oregon. it was my first time there and it was delightful.

although much of the time was spent working...you can't help but clap your hands and shout with glee when you're driving along and spot a huge crop of pumpkins.

an entire pumpkin patch crop!

trees that burst with the brilliant colors of fire and flames...and the best coffee i've ever had in a sweet little college town called ashland.

a girl from texas could decide to just pick up and move after witnessing such beauty.

far and away oregon stole my heart.

wanderlust.

i have it.

************************************************************************

back on the home front....

i've been playing in the studio and wishing on a little of this and that...

isn't that coat dreamy?

i saw it in breckenridge, colorado a couple of months ago and i'm wishing i had it to wear in these fall days.

i didn't treat myself to it. but who knows...anything is possible.

where have you been?

2010-10-21T11:02:00.000-05:00

to breckenridge colorado and back...eating at my fave - rasta pasta, hiking and breathing in the clean pine air.

painting and submitting art to mags and gallery shows...and not doing enough of either.

to the lake for a last summer fling.

to wineries and fairs and festivals in central texas.

for the big girl job: oklahoma and the woodlands and san antonio, which meant a visit to the memorial, to my childhood home, the river walk...and surprises and growth all along the way.

to celebrate the big "21" with my boy and his girl.

where, oh where did the time go?

and finally...lots of days where i am trying to take it all in...take the time to listen and pray and follow my heart.

where have you been?

to duck....

2010-08-04T08:34:00.000-05:00

have you had some of this summer-luscious sweetness lately? we are indulging quite often around here...watermelon, ice cold beer, fresh corn on the cob, and going to the closest sonic for the happy hour ice-y drinks. are there sonics all over the u.s.a.? for those who may not have a sonic, it is a drive up burger joint where you order at your own little speaker and then a carhop comes out (sometimes on roller skates) to deliver. they have sweet peach teas and fresh fruit slushies...and the best ice anywhere! aahhhhh summer.

the days are going fast. i'm wishing i could get to a beach to dig my toes in the sand and smell the salted air. but i think i'm pretty land-locked for awhile. i'm ashamed to say that i haven't even been in a pool or out on the lake. just shameful.
acting too much like a grown up.

except for this.

playing in the studio.

making mischief of one kind and another.

this little guy is certainly playful. and i did have fun working on it.

ducks have been cropping up in my work lately.

birds usually do, but not, until recently...ducks.

maybe it's because my sister and i were talking & laughing not long ago about the pet duck we had as kids.

it was really my sisters'. her 8th grade class mates had surprised her with the duckling - and now i'm wondering if the real surprise was for my parents. he lived in the backyard.

we all ( the 3 sisters) shared in the chore of spraying off the back patio to clean up after "duck".

that was his name.

when duck grew from a fuzzy yellow baby to a white striking and proud bird...we soon realized that he needed to be with other ducks. eventually we donated him to the local zoo and i can remember the next few times i went to the zoo on some field trip or summer day out, i would search and search for duck at the pond where all the wild water birds were. i would always convince myself that he was still there.

i think i am due for a float in a pool.
to commemorate duck n' all.

keeping up with the kids

2010-07-21T18:35:00.000-05:00

now that my son is older,
i don't even try to "keep up" with all that he has going on.

i just have to say...for all of you who are mom's to little ones who are home for the summer:

hats' off to you.

when i used to teach art in public schools
it was like throwing a birthday party

for a new group of 25 kids

every hour

insanity.

sometimes i think that since i only had one child of my own,

it really can't compare to the mothers who have 2, 3, 4,...
seriously, you women are saints.

after i had my own child but before i was a teacher

there were many years that i longed for more children,

prayed and wished and offered up

so that there would be more.

and then...

i got about 700 more.

be careful what you wish for.

sending out virtual wings to the mom's who are soaking up the summer with their brood.

come sit awhile

2010-07-07T18:18:00.000-05:00

the days are flying by, one week into the next...blended with sunshine, keeping house, walks, and keeping up with work. by the time my head hits the pillow (which is not late i assure you) i'm in deep slumber within the first page of whatever book i am trying to read. just the other day i said to someone " i wish there were 48 hours in a day". so much to do, and i need the energy of a team of horses to get it done. i seem to be short on that too. is it the summer heat? am i the only one wishing for nap-time like a 3 yr. old?

i've snuck into the studio a little, never as much as i would like...but since i am currently working on a few pieces for a submission i won't show them here yet. i thought i would share a few glimpses into my other creative palette - the home. this sweet house of mine needs many more touch ups...and i will get there. part of the fun of decorating and nesting, is living in it as you go.

so i am sharing the things i've photographed in the last year...

above is my old chair that i had recovered a couple of years ago. it used to be a multitude of colors and designs - resembling the artists' work for whom the designer named it - the matisse chair. i loved it back then for all of its' color...but i so love it now too. when i picked out the fabric, i was being bold - pattern is a true love of mine. and black and white were just made for each other, don't ya think?

my old shelving unit i picked up at the austin antique garage sale - pieced together with my own art and other finds from "hunts" at antique flea markets. i love color. big and small splashes of it. and i love how things with history make collecting the ultimate recycling habit.

i look around my home, and just about every room has at least one piece that i could tell a story about. these things that are special to me, and make my house feel like...my house.

i'm so grateful for this home, these old things, and for my creativity. i am not a fancy girl. it really is the simple things that can make me smile, make me comfortable.

come sit awhile, tell me about your sweet things. post a picture and send me a comment so that i can find my way there. then it's like we are getting to come over to each others house!

social behavior

2010-06-25T14:20:00.000-05:00

i've been playing with this piece for a couple of weeks.

that seems to be how i make art these days.

nothing is ever done in one sitting.

but...i digress.

back to the art

i love sheep

little lambs

love their sweet faces, their woolly white color,

and the symbolism is never far from my mind.

so recently i started this piece,

and was having so much fun drawing and painting them

that i just had to add party hats.

then the stars and night developed...

and the next thing you know i was giggling

and just so tickled

at the idea of these guys having their own little secret party

that someone walked up on.

and as serendipity goes...

there on my work table were the cut out words of a 1950's book.

social behavior.

then today as i was rushing to finish up last minute details

before heading out of town

with one of my high school best friends

in tow, on our way

to attend a surprise birthday party

for the other high school best friend.

i thought about how i really wanted to get in one post here.

but what to write about?

what art to show, is there anything finished?

and there were my little lambs.

so in honor of my sweet leslie and jenni,

in honor of friendship and those bonds that are etched in our souls

this is for the three of us.

now...lets have some fun!!

and i can't resist...one of the many songs we blasted out in our jaunts around austin, texas.

follow me

2010-06-18T17:47:00.000-05:00

i'm feeling nostalgic for the tenderness of a sweet love affair. not my own, mind you. just some silly romantic idea of what happened when a boy met a girl and they simply followed a path that led them to a life together. maybe i am in need of a good chick flick. a story that makes you smile. and cry. and believe in love.

the piece above was something that i started when i was at artfest, quickly throwing together old book pages and paint, and a transfer image of a couple that i had on hand. recently i added to it, and finished it,...and when i look at it, i think of this song. now that is a love song.

...wishing you love this weekend.

summertime, summertime...

2010-06-13T23:31:00.000-05:00

summer mornings start out here just about every day with my morning coffee. last summer i moved into this house and started the love affair with my home. i lived in the same house for 16 years, and there is something really sweet about making a move that you've longed for, to a home that fits you in so many ways. there are several times a week that i whisper out loud, "i love this house".

i know, you aren't supposed to love a thing, an object. if i had to- i could leave it, i know there are more important things in life than a great floor plan. but i also know that this is a special time for me to just soak this up and feel really good about it. so i do. and my big back porch is just the place to sit with coffee and listen to the birds and feel the breeze, or to sneak out to in the middle of a thunderstorm to hear the rain pounding on the tin roof. cherish. i cherish this home and this time.

the summer days are all about blooming and growing and life in abundance. the peach tree in my back yard was over-flowing with fruit, so much so that the branches were touching the ground. over the last couple of weeks i've been picking peaches and cleaning up all of the remnants that the squirrels and birds leave behind. i never got around to starting a vegetable garden, but next year for sure. i have a lot to learn, and something i need to read up on for sure, is organic pest control. many of the peaches weren't edible due to "inhabitants".

so...what is growing in your garden this summer?

that would be the name of this little piece. i've been spending more time in the studio. i've started about 7 paintings. what is it about the ones you go into with the full intention of a "finished work", and the ones that you just go to.... to play? the ones for play, i always like more. and what constitutes play for you? for me, if i use smaller watercolor pieces of paper - those are for play. it's when i start something on canvas or wood that i get all serious and uptight. well, i'm just going to keep working on them anyway...until they all feel like play.

this is the time of year when everything should feel so laid back and easy...when you wanna go out at night in shorts, flip flops and a cool cotton shirt and ride with the windows down, listening to tunes like this and this.

as i watch my son head out another night to hang out with friends, it makes me think of those old summer days...

what are your favorite summer songs? look 'em up on youtube and dance around your room in remembrance. dancing is always good!

a finished work....

2010-05-31T23:21:00.002-05:00

some days, a finished work - that is a feat in itself. i did it. i finished a work that i was commissioned to do for a new homeowner. i think it will be his first piece of art, and let me tell you - it is a big one. 3 ft x 4 ft. and i actually finished it in a little over a month. a dear friend of mine, who earlier had commissioned me to do a piece for her husband, passed on my name and i was offered another "job". crazily enough....it was another longhorn. we live in the land of the longhorn's down here in texas.

now, i was thrilled to be asked to create a piece of art for someone. that is what i wish i was doing all of the time! but now i understand when i hear other artists say they would prefer to create their own work, their own subject matter or style. longhorn's? i do not consider myself to be a wildlife/animal artist. longhorn's are really challenging creatures!! but i was able to paint with layers and papers and a style of my own choosing. this painting pushed me. while working on it, several hours of work into it... i did something i am usually afraid to do - i changed it. you know when you are working on a piece, and something doesn't feel right - but you are afraid that if you change it,.. it just might be worse, or erase any possibility of being good? but because i recently took a class with jesse reno - i was more open to making that change. jesse believes in constantly making the changes in the work, pushing yourself to try it, just go for it. and in the end, it worked out.

the painting was delivered to the new owner by way of a friend today, so i haven't gotten word yet as to whether the piece is what he hoped for, imagined...likes??? i hope he is happy with it, and that the big ole guy(longhorn) is looking good in his new digs. and to the painting "gods"...can we lay off with the longhorns for a little while?

ch-ch-changes...

2010-05-13T17:03:00.000-05:00

loving life and all that new beginnings bring!

does there seem to be a crisp clean air of possibility all around?

i don't know what is making me feel that way.

work is crazy busy...

and between college visits and surgery for my son,

the days are flying by.

but i feel the whispers of new things on the horizon.

not just for me, but for those around me too.

and it feels good.

things are a-happening folks!

we keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we are curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

~walt disney

following the path

2010-05-07T13:49:00.002-05:00

these days i am just following the path before me. the one that feels right, the one that seems to be calling my name. i've been trying to answer the question that popped in my head the other day. why aren't you content with just doing the good job that you have (the big girl job with the big corporate company)? why are you always wanting more? i even took a look at my friends. they aren't trying to conjure up a whole 'nother career, business, or way of life. they rock along doing the job they have, taking "care" of a husband and kids if they are still at home. what makes them content...and why am i not? don't get me wrong...i like my big girl job - i know it's a good one. i love my family, my friends, and my home. i know my life is good and sweet.

but i am always taking another look down that path...knowing there is more to this life.

we are always making decisions, right? my son is in the middle of a big decision, trying to pick between schools to transfer to in the middle of his college career. i wake up to worries during the night...will he choose the right one, is it going to be okay for him, is he thinking of everything he should? recently i was explaining to someone that he just isn't ready to give his basketball dream up. so many of the "adults" in our lives can't understand why he is still so intent on following this path. they look at me like "mom, why aren't you making him be realistic?" he has been playing since he could pick up the ball, and he is playing still at the college level.

i've never wanted to "squash" his dream...but i also speak of academics and fulfilling careers... wanting to slip in a logical side to the dream.

when i told my friend - with a big sigh - that he just isn't ready to let it go...

all of a sudden it hit me.

i looked at her, and she grinned really big and said

"he takes after his mom."

so here is to following the path that is yours.

and yours alone.

seek and you shall find..

2010-05-03T16:22:00.000-05:00

aren't we all searching for our way? i feel like i have been consumed these days with learning about the business....the business of having a creative life. it is the business side of things that i just can't seem to make the time for. i start to look at all of the information on etsy- the how to's and the tips. because i really want to open a store in etsy. but then i get hung up on the simple fact that i cannot change the user name i set up years ago while purchasing something. let me tell you...this is just one of my many "hang ups". they are all completely personal in that it's just a matter of me moving past my fear. i know that i need to move forward...so i took one e-course with marisa haedike.

this was very insightful and full of great information. i have used some of what i learned, and plan on putting even more of this information into use. check out marisa on her creative thursday site for more details.
and now...i am going to take another e-course with an artist that i am sure you've heard of : kelly rae

both of these creative and fantastically organized and skilled artist-business women seem to have found a niche, a format, a way of taking their unique work and moving it beyond "the dream". do i have any of what it takes to make my very own creative (business) life? there is something inside of us artists that pushes us to put these special gifts we have into the hands of others. whether we lovingly make our art for family and friends, or if we do it for the pure pleasure of crafting something out of nothing but tools, time and our soulful intuition....or if we dream of having our art in the hands of people we've never met -for their enjoyment. for whatever reason that push inside of us sends us into that place where we are...completely and wholly the person we were as a child. where are you being pushed.....? isn't it time to go there...?

from seattle to central texas

2010-04-19T12:27:00.000-05:00

i know, i move along in warped speed...for me, that phrase means warped like an album that sat in the backseat of a hot car, and when you try to play it - it goes around and around slow as molasses. hmmm....maybe something else is a little warped?
moving on...starting with the end of my trip out to the northwest. i loved seattle!! loved the views of the water everywhere, and my time downtown at pike's market was the best. i know, total geek tourist here, but there is something so inspiring and uplifting to be in a new place. i wrote in my journal on the plane coming home, all about artfest, but also about seattle...and the fact that i just want to travel. you know...like for a living...just do that. now that is saying a lot for me. i don't always go places "well". for awhile, i've been a girl who is content being home, and although i am happy once i'm in a new destination, i go to it scrunched up and grumbly. something woke up at artfest and in seattle. a little adventurous muse that is wanting more....more....more!

so call me a late bloomer. i've noticed more and more that i've discovered many things "late". either that or it's just this 40-something outlook that kicks in and gives you so much freedom to be who you really are. think i'll go with that. it feels right.
i came home from the artfest retreat so ready to dive into working. and i really did dive in, buying, prepping, and pasting up boards to paint. the weather has been so nice that i moved my supplies out to the back porch and spent late afternoons and evenings letting it all flow. i started a few - and i do mean 4-5 paintings at once. i even prepared and began a 3x4 foot canvas that i've been commissioned to paint (more on that later).

then...i got stuck. what causes that? that weird consuming feeling that just stops you from moving forward creatively? do you find yourself here too?
at artfest i just dug in and thought of it all as play. play and testing and learning and never a thought of the final piece to "show". so what do you do to get back that energy, that mojo?
i think one answer is to just make yourself keep working, doing anything until ...you find yourself there again.
i spent a good amount of time this last weekend cleaning up my studio(hoping that would stir something up). i moved my table and shelves and finally organized things since dumping it all in the "designated room" when we moved into this house 9 months ago. it is starting to feel more cohesive. more like my space.

it was the right time to "make ready". to feel good about where i go to create. and because i know i will not be on the back porch working for long. the weather will be turning very soon from this fresh spring to "summer in may". texas.
but i am enjoying it for now. i even stopped and took an impromptu break to sit in the bluebonnets. they are everywhere this year with the all of the great rain we've had.
being in the middle of this small field, i just soaked up the sweet sweet smell of the blooms putting on a show for all to see and treasure. blooms that are not worried at all about what is to come and just putting all of that splendor out there like a gift.

and the beat goes on....

2010-04-07T22:25:00.001-05:00

if only for my own recording ...i have to take the time to write about the rest of my artfest trip. it has made such an impression on me, and lasted in my vision and my dreams and my motivation. for the last few years i resisted going to artfest. i thought it would be too big for me. i attended two other artist retreats, and i always had the mindset that i should limit the number of retreats i attended. ever. just this weird concept that i had in my brain because i've been a teacher in the past, and i'm a thriving artist myself, and shouldn't my goal be to put out (art-wise) than to consume? because i didn't want to be a retreat junkie. okay, now i just have to ask myself "what the hell"? who cares? i may not feel a desire to go to all of them, i may not attend too many more in my lifetime. but seriously angel, who cares? if it makes people happy, if it provides fun and joy and inspiration and income for teaching artists and a way for "students" to fill themselves up...then i say i am all for it. and i know that i will be attending artfest again. this would be the best kind of junkie to be. for all of those teachers who give and give and share their talents (thank you!)...and to the amazing people who put on the retreats(teesha and fam - thank you!)...and for all of the hopeful, seeking, creatives who just wanna play and be with like-minded souls - it is the best.

these are my fabulous room-mates. these women "got me". libby (elizabeth), and lynn and deb. also not pictured here were the great bunch from utah and new mexico. we had a great houseful of artful women. there was just this safe, happy feeling the whole time. check out libby's fabulous mask she made!

I also took a class with keely benkey - working with paper clay to make these little creatures. this was really fun and playful. i will definitely be getting some paper clay to play with and i already have some ideas of what i want to make. once again it is great to see the variety that comes from each of us.

and last but not least, i had a class with misty mawn. for whatever reason on this trip i was in a mindset to just push through the day creating and not get hung up on things working or looking right, or coming out just so. crank it out. class with misty just feels "easy" and calm. i picked up great ideas and new things to try. i thought it was really interesting that the main thing i picked up was similar to what i got from jesse reno. just put it down, push some things back, pull images forward. all while rockin along to good music. i got what i needed from it all. what i was supposed to "get", what my soul needed to move along this journey...that is what i found.

In love...

2010-04-03T11:17:00.000-05:00

Bare with me. I am in love. All giddy with my head in the clouds. I made it to Artfest in Port Townsend. It's hard to believe I was there one week ago, hands deep in paint and my mind and soul at such peace. There was just so much crazy creative juice flowing. I felt so rich to be surrounded by such beauty...the artists, the ocean, the green lush land with pines and mountains surrounding us.

It was a bit like a scavenger hunt to get there, flights canceled, bags missed, no room to call my own...and two newbies riding together who had the hardest time just finding the road to the Bainbridge ferry that would take us to Port Townsend. It's funny now to think of it, the wide eyed hopeful anticipation of getting to this thing called Artfest. And as my fellow festival virgin Erin and I made our way there... I remember thinking that next time I would know the way. My heart would know the way.

My first class was with the amazing and odd Jesse Reno- odd in a good way! LOVED him! I was so enthralled with his artistic ways, that I wished I'd had more than one day to spend in his class. I will definitely be using methods and techniques I learned from Jesse in my art going forward.

We started with thin layers of paint with our hands blended onto the paper and eventually the page filled up with more and more layers and drawings. Block it out, push it back, pull that forward, go over it....totally working with whatever instinct came to you. It was really hard for some folks to let go and trust the process. I just loved the idea of nothing being a mistake and pushing forward and expanding. I haven't finished my piece, but I will be continuing with it and more.

I have so much more to share, and I will because I feel such a need to document this journey. I need to put it down and put it out there. I wish I could bottle up those Artfest juices and sip on them from time to time when I need to feel that energy again. I'm home now and today I feel wistful...missing Artfest, missing my tribe. But I am so motivated and have been working my Big Girl Job during the day and painting at night. A fire was lit in my belly and there is no going back.

playful anticipation

2010-03-21T18:32:00.000-05:00

i've taken a step towards....what? i'm not really sure i could say a specific thing i am moving towards. just that i am putting one step in front of the other. baby steps. when i started this blog a little over a year ago, it was one of those steps - sort of a challenge to myself to finally do something in regards to my art, my passion, my dreams. there were a few items on my "challenge list": starting the blog, attending an art retreat, opening and etsy site(not there yet) and submitting art entries to magazines. last september i attended squam artist reatreat. my second of its kind in the last 3 years. my challenge to myself at that time was to find my way, my style, or just get the answer as to whether or not this was still a path i should be on. i had begun to think that time was passing me by, getting too old to pursue dreams of a frivilous sort. the artwork above was one of my answers to that challenge. at squam i really just relished the time of being able to be in a beautiful surrounding, with wonderful creative beings all around, and happily, so happily cranking out the truth of my soul. you see, that is what creating is for me. my truth. i know that, have known it for some time - so much so that i now recognize that i couldn't live as a whole person without it. i've also tried to come to an acceptance that this thing, this passion, could be... a fulfilling hobby. i can't answer that yet.

so this week, i did a happy dance with big grins and giggles when i opened up a box of my first 'lil business cards. now... for many artist, having a card is a big "duh"! for me, waiting for so long was just one more way of pushing down this desire, living in my fear and not being brave. if i had a card then i'd have to give them out, i'd have to make claim to the title of 'artist'. Several years ago i shared a working/teaching studio with another artist(notice how i can easily call her an artist, but not so easily myself) and we had business cards for the studio because at that time, everything revolved more around teaching and promoting the studio than promoting your own work. when we closed up shop four years ago, it forced me to really search within myself and decide what i wanted out of a creative life. i can look back and see a long path of baby steps in this quest for a creative life. i certainly don't have all of the answers. i don't know exactly where i am going with this desire, but it's in the going, it's in the journey that i am trusting to be brave...and to find my way.

this week i am skipping along that path to another artist retreat. it's a biggy. one that i have been a little intimidated by- more for the fact that it draws a huge number of attendees, and i tend to feel more comfortable in smaller numbers. heading off to artfest in port townsend, washington.
i am putting my big girl pants on and i am going to be brave! and i'm sure have lots of fun!!

growing is not so painful after all

2010-03-05T16:55:00.000-06:00

with the whispers of spring in the air

it has been busy around here.

i didn't get around to planting bulbs last fall

so i am playing catch up now

and planting new baby flowers in the ground

...grow, grow

and it is working.

with just a little sunshine (and even some snow)

the baby flowers are blooming and stretching to the heavens

as if to say

"i am here, look at me!"

i've been busy in other ways too

i am stretching and growing

reaching for the heavens

reaching for my dreams

...not as quickly as those flowers mind you

but that is okay

everything in its own time

every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers,

"grow, grow."

- the talmud

on the wings of spring

2010-02-25T09:26:00.010-06:00

i am so ready for spring. it's not that i don't enjoy winter here in the south, this week we actually had snow in central texas

i ran around screaming like a child, clapping my hands- relishing the big fluffy flakes falling... but in the last week we've also had warm sunny days and birds singing so sweetly. the promise of all things new again. i am so ready for spring

january journaling...and paper infatuation

2010-02-01T11:47:00.008-06:00

i wish i could say that i kept up with the weekly challenge that i took to journal throughout the month of january.

i did spend time in the studio, and that can sometimes be a luxury. there are only a few pieces to post from the challenge. one of the weeks' challenge was to create work inspired by past famous artists. my completed piece was inspired by basquiat this was pure easy fun. drizzled medium, painting with both brushes and fingers, random papers and marks on the page. hmmm....is this what it feels like to create with abandon? No worries about the outcome? note to self...more creative abandon. another one of the weeks challenge was to use mixed media. for me, that is what it is all about.

(this little bee kept showing up on the page)

have i mentioned before that i love papers? papers from old books and vintage magazines. fabulously printed 'scrapbook' papers mixed with my own painted papers. papers with words and patterns, paper stamps and pictures. ...and cutting and pasting. i can get lost digging through papers, cutting and arranging just so. i might be spending too much time with my papers.

i've decided not to beat myself up about the january journal pages. que sera sera

january journaling

2010-01-11T12:02:00.011-06:00

the january days of journaling that was initiated by misty has begun again. i haven't exactly kept up like i did last year... but i am happy to have a few pieces done from last weeks theme. misty encourages a new theme to use as a starting point for the journal pages. last week, it was to use photos you've taken and incorporating them into your work. the first two pieces were using photos i took in vermont last september. i love having a starting point of inspiration. sometimes it's music or a photo or a poem or several things moving you in the moment. the third piece came about friday night after hearing this song by dido. it's been magical and fun being in the studio more over the last month. i wish it was where i could go everyday... and now that life has settled a little (probably shouldn't even speak those words as it could invite some gremlin in) i plan on being in the studio much much more. i had to put away the journal pages to try and finish the painting that i started for my son before Christmas. he loves bull terrier dogs and plans to have one someday. an early photo of the painting in a half completed stage. it made my boy smile which was exactly what i was after

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T23:11:00.004-06:00

feeling a little beat up and rusty today after a really fun new years' eve. i'm keeping a little decoration on as i toast and welcome new experiences with open eyes, mind and heart it's been a quiet new years day as i get ready to rev up my engines... i hope yours was sweet.

squam

2009-09-30T21:21:00.006-05:00

do you see it? do you see the godlight shining down on a little piece of heaven on earth? rockywolddeephaven camp in holderness, new hampshire. this is where artists were called to meet so that they could play, and laugh, and make new friends, and eat a lot, and maybe open up their souls to whatever was calling them. like the loon calling for it's love on that big beautiful lake.... okaaayyy...i was on a roll there, but it just got too corny (and i can use the word corny because i just came back from camp). i mean, i absolutely loved waking up to the sound of loons calling and the water lapping on the shore right outside my window. but i also woke up each morning and tried to figure out how i could get a shower, put make up on ( i know...why?), and get dressed without freezing my ass off. all without coffee. squam really gave me so much, maybe so much that it's taken two weeks and i am still contemplating all that its meant to me. but i think that must be a good thing. i really needed to be there and witness the energy of so many women (and a few men) who were on fire for their artistic passion. it was crazy good in that sense. i found myself quiet a lot of the time, and i just had to soak it in and i couldn't process it all. there is much still lingering in my heart - the women i made friends with, the teachers who gave so well, and the unquenchable need to create.

thanks squam, and elizabeth, and girl friends, and loons on the lake...xoxo

well, it's about time

2009-09-26T11:30:00.008-05:00

and i cannot believe the time that has passed. i never intended to drop off the face of my blog...i just got so busy with the details of life. we moved into a new home, which meant fixing up and selling the one we'd lived in for 16 years. so many memories...such sweet memories of raising g. there. but it was time to move forward. finally, the new place is starting to feel like home. the rooms are painted. ...the studio is still not unpacked. the new house had sapped all of my creative juices. except for a painting that was commissioned by a friend, i hadn't touched a tube of paint in months. this big guy was started back in march, but finally made it's way to a new home recently. but then there was squam. i just returned home from this artist retreat in new hampshire (and an extended trip through vermont). i'm really still trying to process all that the retreat was...how it affected me, and what it all means now. what next? as i sort through this...more to come. but i am ready to unpack the studio.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T13:14:00.004-05:00

What a blessed role it is to be a mother, what a cherished gift to have one.... I love you MOM!

looking for an answer

2009-02-23T17:15:00.003-06:00

i have not made time at my table, with my paints listening to music as my hands move to create why do i let other things get in the way, take up my time why don't i answer the call of my heart when it is all i want to do?

i am open to possibility

2009-02-11T21:08:00.007-06:00

i am waiting for the new... looking for spring to begin again in me my days have been filled to the brim with work...the kind that gives one form of sustenance. the other waits patiently...my brushes and paints sit there on the table like forgotten friends. in this day, we cannot shun the business of work...busy is good! but i am happy to have a little something to share on this wednesday "show and tell". i started this piece a few months ago...and it was all i could get to this week to finish and present. here in the south we are starting to feel the whispers of spring on the horizon. on the verge of something new, all things beginning again. fresh hope possibility

one photo + one word

2009-02-03T09:28:00.002-06:00

history

life...

2009-01-31T08:56:00.012-06:00

...isn't this journey amazing...i am in between a place of wonder and transcendence. whispers of something so much bigger than this world, this place we fill. this week i've had such sweet connections with old friends, loved ones of a special someone that i am missing, but who i know is very near. my heart is so full, even with sorrow their is a measure of joy. my cup runneth over. i have continued with my art journal pages and can't believe we are at the end of the 31 days. Just one more page to do today. i am determined to continue on this path, and i think i am ready to pull out my canvases and heavy papers and translate this work into a more permanent status. i am hooked on the journal pages though, so i will continue that as well - and many of us who have been on this 31 days of art journaling, are going to continue with a wednesday show and tell. fun! the first image shown above is from the 30th day of journaling, and below is the page from the 29th. and last but not least...those turquoise-sprinkled cupcakes i made for my book group. misty was the inspiration for these, and they were a smash! i even made enough to send a few to my son by way of his dad who is traveling to gregory's game today. go lmc!

brooding?

2009-01-28T23:11:00.006-06:00

i started this piece on tuesday but didn't finish it until now. i have got to get "quicker" at producing a piece. i think this 31 days of art have helped, but i definitely need to keep working at it. all of the layers take time. time to dry, time to find the right thing to add. we are working on creating with our emotions in mind. my post here hints at where i have been, so this piece was just a continuation of that. the words are from psalm 77, and have been referred to by many in regards to the dark night of the soul. misty mawn's post here was very sweet, and so relevant to my feelings. it is the way of life that we are not always one solid thing - only feeling one way all of the time, or making the same choices all of the time. i have had some deep emotional moments this week. talking with loved ones, missing an old friend, feeling the absence of my son in our home while he is away at school. and deep emotions of joy and happiness and gratefulness as well. i am grateful for so much...aha maybe this should be the emotion for the next page? tomorrow i am making turquoise-blue sprinkled cupcakes!

dark night of the soul

2009-01-27T14:28:00.007-06:00

my piece for monday, january 26th - the 26th day of art journaling.

this week we are focusing on our emotions coming through in our work. i am a little hesitant to go there, here. i have been reading lately about the dark nights of the soul. right now, i am reading a book of the same title by thomas moore. it's amazing how things come to you as you need it, if you are listening, if you pay attention. i have been in this "place" for awhile, a good long while before i realized...oh that's what this is. i don't really want to name it, i don't always indulge it, but i am trying to honor it. for the most part - i consider myself a happy, content being. easy going and easy to please. but for a little while now, i have experienced changes in my life that have led me to something different emotionally. it's deep, i know. but i think i need to be here, i need to let the depth of this move me into living the life that i should live.

much to do

2009-01-27T11:04:00.007-06:00

i have had to take a day - or two off from posting. even though i have continued to work on my 31 days of journaling...i have to admit i am behind there as well. so here is a catch up post of my "shapes" journal page. this was from sunday - day 26. i love circles, dots, polka dots...and use them in my art. i think this page would make a nice background. i just couldn't go anywhere else with it. on another note...i drew the name for my gift art from day 25. it goes to jennifer white. jennifer you can email me at angelchiasson@gmail.com, and give me your address so that i may send it to you. thank you all for the sweet posts that day, it makes me want to send something to each one of you. lastly, jgr tagged me for 10 things about me. i have never had one of these as i am new to blogging. hmmm...here goes: 1. i have a dream to live part of the year in the colorado mountains...somewhere near breckenridge or lake dillon. preferably in the summer. 2. when i was 15, i thought that i wanted to live in the country, have lot's of children, and take in stray dogs. 3. if i hear music with a great bouncing soulful rhythm, i cannot stay still. 4. i love potato chips, regular, wavy, thin whatever...and the curled up ones are my favorite! 5. my household went from 4 to 2 within 30 days. wow...still getting accustomed to this. 6. my very first job was at a fish & chips restaurant when i was 14. 7. every year on december 17th i think of chris d., he was my boyfriend in 7th grade and it is his birthday...now i can't remember close friends b-days, but for some reason his sticks in my mind. 8. i was on the drill team in college. it was the dancing thing.... 9. i get the 7 - year itch when it comes to employment. i tend to stay with one company or job role for about 7 years, a little more, a little less, then i move on. 10. my cell phone ringer is set to david gray. i love david gray! okay...i will post later tonight with my next journal page. the subject this week is emotions. sort of feeling anxious about that!

a gift of art

2009-01-25T19:43:00.007-06:00

the piece that i began working on late last night, and finished today is the 24th piece of art in 24 days. wow. i have never done this before. it has been such a gift to myself to spend time creating. to be in the moment of whatever i am making. even on the days when my feet are dragging to get to the table and begin...eventually i am there and it consumes me and...well...it's going to sound corny but i am happy inside. contented. for my "gift" art, i reproduced one of my earlier journal pages on a small canvas. i would like to gift this to one of you out there. i cannot tell you how many times i have smiled in the last 25 days while sitting at the computer checking my new blog. i never imagined how great it feels to have a nice word, a connection from like-minded artful souls. thank you! please leave me a comment if you'd like to be included in the draw for this little piece, and i will pick by tuesday. cheers! i am still working on my shape piece - for day 25. sending lot's of creative ju-ju your way!

matisse and miro

2009-01-23T19:02:00.010-06:00

today i have really had fun playing with my paints and the "assigned" subject of doing a piece of art inspired by a favorite artist. i couldn't decide on just one, but i did limit it to two...because i do have a day job as well! i remember the art history class i had to take in college. sometimes it was really interesting...but i mainly remember the tests. the professor would splash slide after slide of different works of art up on a huge screen, and you had to identify the artist, title, style and time period. ugh! too much memorization. it wasn't until i began teaching art that i applied that knowledge and studied artists in more detail. one of my favorite artist's - joan miro...well, his work would stir up some pretty great conversations from the kids. such imagination! my first journal page is inspired by henri matisse. what else can i say, but...color. i've always been so drawn to his use of color, the happy quality in his works, and his life story. my other journal page is my take on miro style combined with things i do in my own work. now i am realizing that the random shapes, lines, and designs in my work must come from my fondness of miro.

one of my other very favorite artists is remembered here in this song. what an amazing artist with a soul so deep and pained. i remember being so touched by the fact that he empathized and worked for the lowly, for those who had a hard life. i think he must have felt things on such an intense level. on a lighter side, i think of him when i get into a tangent of painting...thinking maybe i could just go on for days, not stopping for sleep or food. well, eventually i do stop to eat and i think of him again because i usually won't bother getting all of the caked paint off of my fingers...could that be what they meant about van gogh eating paint??

days 21 and 22

2009-01-22T17:33:00.017-06:00

two more days of art done with misty mawn's challenge to do 31 days of art journaling. on my 21st day, i used a photo that i took a couple of days ago. i went to the oldest cemetery in austin, where there is amazing historical stone architecture and statues from the graves dating back to the 1800's. i've wanted to do this whenever i pass by old cemeteries, especially in older cities, cities like new orleans. i found it so peaceful and touching there. it was a beautiful day, and really nice to get away from my normal suburban surroundings. i was not feeling like doing anything creative yesterday. i couldn't find my mojo - motivation - muse....none of them! but like it usually is, if you just start, put down paint or color...it begins to unfold and then you're on a roll.

this is the photo i started with.

then today, day 22 of the journal, the idea was to make a piece of art with nothing but crayons. wow. i felt like i was back in the classroom - and even then my student's rarely used just crayons. i had to go with simplicity. i didn't think i had any crayons around the house, but i finally found a random bag leftover from gregory's school days stash. i even went digging through my stored supplies in the garage...just for a black crayon. gotta have a black crayon. tomorrow we will be focusing on one of our favorite artists. it's gonna be hard to pick!

journey

2009-01-20T20:08:00.008-06:00

this week in the 31 days of art journaling - there is a different "lead" for each day. today it was to "focus on one word...and create a page around that word". lately i have been thinking a lot about this life i lead, the stages or phases i have gone through, what i have left behind (willingly or not), and how to live it - really live it and experience it now. i am trying not to dwell in the past. and the hardest for me...to think too much (read: worry) about the future. every day is important in the journey, every day is the journey. so...my word for so many reasons, is journey. yesterday our "lead" for the journal page was to use embellishments : buttons, fabric, beads, etc. i didn't get around to posting my page yesterday, so here it is. i knew i wanted to use buttons, but the only other inspiration was the black and white striped designs i've used in past work. i also ended up using pieces of fabric and ribbon. all i kept thinking as this was developing was - gum drop tree. as in bubble gum drops. i love bubble gum. oh...and i guess after all of our monochromatic art pages, i just had to unleash all of the color i could.

...pink

2009-01-18T23:44:00.012-06:00

pink makes me feel playful. this actually has layers of paper and paint, but i'm not sure you can see it all in the end. it was another fun one, but i am finding it harder to complete one each day. once again it is almost midnight...and i would have probably added a bit or piece of something else, but i am just too tired to keep going. here are a few pink things ... i found this house when i was out taking photos yesterday. can you imagine living in this adorable pink house? it made me think of one of my favorite books the secret life of bees. i actually made a piece of artwork about that book. it is in the collage above.

...yellow

2009-01-17T23:56:00.006-06:00

it's getting harder and harder to stay monochromatic. even though i am usually drawn to other artists work that is pale, or even mainly white backgrounds, soft muted colors...i feel best when i can use a LOT of color, many colors. that being said, yellow is one of my favorite colors because it is so happy. one more day...pink is next. i love pink! we'll see what that brings out. here is an example of some of my past work - all about color!

...red

2009-01-16T20:30:00.011-06:00

red is so luxurious, so rich in depth. i have a red car (actually it is called chianti), there are a few punches of red in my house, but i don't wear red lipstick. My front door is red, but none of my walls. i have always been attracted to red-headed men, but never fell in love with one. but i do love me some red wine! i remember when i was a newlywed, (during one of those rare happy moments of our marriage) we'd taken a road trip that first year to visit my family in colorado. we drove our red rx-7 up the winding mountain roads, and this song came on. we sang our hearts out together... when i hear that song, it makes me smile.

...white

2009-01-15T18:22:00.026-06:00

this page came with much emotion today. i needed to do this, for me, and for Terri. when i was in college, i had a best friend named Terri. she was younger than me, the sister of my friend and roommate. for those unknown reasons you just can't explain, we clicked and became so close - so fast. we confided things in each other we never shared with anyone else. she was like a little sister, but wise beyond her years. eventually we became roommates. we kept each other's secrets, we laughed, cried, and had more fun than we should have( school? were you really supposed to go to class?). we moved away from each other- back to our hometowns. she was my maid-of-honor, and i held the secret when she eloped with her husband. by the time we each had our boys - barely a year apart, the distance had grown greater in miles, and as life goes...we had a hard time keeping up with each other. next she had a little girl, and she even moved within 10 minutes of me for a brief time, but as new and busy moms, we never seemed to have the time to reconnect. when she called to tell me she was moving several states away, we promised to be in touch when life settled down. for years i tried to find her, doing web searches, not getting anywhere, and giving up with the thought that if she wanted to reach me, she knew where to find me - I had never moved. i wondered why and how we'd grown apart, always blaming myself that maybe i had done something wrong that turned her away from me. i think about her often, i have so many memories, fun silly memories. finally, last night and into the early morning hours...the answers came. Terri has been gone from this life for some time, but i have only just found out. how do you go so long without seeing or speaking to someone, and yet you keep loving them the same? i always thought we would be together again, and we would laugh and shake our heads at how we let the time go. i always thought that we would catch up about our kids, and now my heart aches for these children that i do not know, children who do not have their mother. i am overwhelmed with grief that i took this friendship for granted. i am blown over with the realization that life is too precious to take the ones we love for granted.

...green

2009-01-14T23:56:00.001-06:00

this ended up being a rush job. i used a scanned copy of a painting i did of this girl last year, cutting her out of the painting and inserting her here with other layers and papers of green. it's not really what i planned, but i suppose that's how most of art is. after working my real job, we drove a few hours to see my son play basketball, and then drove home. i worked on this page in the car, so i had limited supplies. it's been a strange night, and i'm ready to crawl into bed and shut the world out.

...orange

2009-01-13T17:50:00.007-06:00

this one was fun. i used many tints and shades of orange, but my darkest looks almost red in the photos. at the bottom of this page i used an old photo of me and my sisters...favorite playmate's for all of my life! these pages bring out the child's play in me. say say oh playmate, come out and play with me, and bring your dollies three, climb up my apple tree. slide down my rainbow, into my cellar door. and we'll be jolly friends forever more - more- more!

...blue

2009-01-12T17:46:00.009-06:00

my blue page when i was a little girl, sky-blue turquoise was my favorite color. my daddy's eyes were blue, and i of course thought he lit the moon. this song always makes me think of him. ...and then in my really boy crazy days... this one was a favorite! the next two images are the last of my "make-up" pages - from the days i didn't get to work on the art journal because of my back issue. i know i didn't have to do them, there are no rules here. it's just what i had to do...for me. the first one cracks me up because i knew i wanted to use the butterfly, and i originally thought i'd put it on my neck or chest. at the last minute, i glued it over my mouth. now it's a little "silence of the lambs".

double page doodle play

2009-01-11T15:31:00.004-06:00

my pages for the 10th and 11th are two in one. technically- a true self portrait assignment might mean sketching, drawing, painting or making a collage of your own image. i remember having to do many of these in my college days. i remember working so hard at getting it right, making it look like me. thankfully, that is not so important to me now. if i were a portrait artist - then of course that would be one of the goals. now it's all about the process, the experience, the growth. forgive me as i stretch this self portrait to be more about my doodling the colors, shapes, thoughts and images on my mind. i did include a photo of myself in the mix, once again as a child. in this journey of getting back to my love of art - i had to go back to my childhood. my earliest memories include me at about 3 or 4 yrs. old using red lipstick to draw a girl in a dress on the dining room wall - right after my parents had hired someone to do a mural in there...or laying under the coffee tables and drawing on the underside while my (oblivious) family sat all together around me watching t.v. i remember sitting under the window in my bedroom with my chalkboard and drawing entire pictures, erasing them and drawing new ones again and again, content for hours. for some reason, in my teenage years i quit making art, only taking one class in high school because i needed an elective. i still shake my head at that, wondering how i lost art. in my college years, wanting to be much more bohemian than i really was...i switched my major to art - even though it had been 6 years since that one high school class. it was a part of me. a comfort, a distraction, a frustration, and a passion. still is.

letting go

2009-01-09T16:51:00.007-06:00

this self portrait was more fun today. i am trying to let go of what i think i should be doing, stop the thinking and just play. i started with layers of papers and photos from old books or scraps from magazines, and then did glazed washes of color. i drew a vague "self" that i centered over the images i wanted to let show through. then i just painted and drew until i felt it was time to stop. actually, i stopped more because the sun was fading, and i haven't figured out how to get a decent photo indoors yet. i'll be okay when we move on from the self portraits. tee-hee

and a close up of the bottom - the house image is from ARTchix studio

Catching up

2009-01-08T17:31:00.008-06:00

this week the journal pages have a theme of 'self portrait'. from reading a few of the blogs out there...i see that we all cringe a little with this assignment. my first attempt is one of those situations where you keep working it and working it, and when you finally decide to stop - you realize that you should have stopped long before. but, it's all a learning process. if it wasn't that i am making my pages directly in a book (all pages attached) i would have liked to throw it out and start over. oh well. i am trying to catch up to include the pages i missed while "layed up" over the last couple of days...so on my next page i took an easier route. i chose one of my favorite childhood pictures.

i have used this photo before in my art, but i usually take just the image of me, altering it, adding paint, etc. this time i've used the whole photo. that's my mom in the background and i've always wondered what was on her mind right at that moment. probably, she fussed a little at whoever took the photo because she wasn't "ready". i left the photo intact because as a self portrait, i think it is so appropriate to have her there in the background, watching over me as i stretch the distance a little to exert whatever independence i was seeking. the other day i answered a questionnaire, and one of the questions was who was i " mostly raised by"? mother and father... only mother...only father... other_____? it got me thinking once again about how our lives can take many different paths. and if that path had gone another way, how would we have turned out? my father died suddenly when i was 8 yrs. old, so i spent more time being raised by my mom (and sisters!). surely i would be more like her, right? yet we are and always have been different in lots of ways. she is a full to the brim kind of person - full of energy and enthusiasm. a true cajun woman - one who works hard and plays harder! i tend to be a little more mellow, maybe at times- too quiet for her understanding. but i love this photo, for the innocence i have, the serious look on my face,my dress ( i wish i could wear dresses like that now) and...because my sweet mama is there watching over me.

off track

2009-01-07T09:20:00.005-06:00

this is actually my journal page for january 3rd. that was my last day "on track"...that afternoon i threw my back out (trying to do too much in the "new year"?) and i have been so very incapacitated. i haven't done this in a long time- not since my days of teaching art to 150 students a day. i am now 3 days behind on my pages and though i can sit up for short periods of time, i don't know if i can get a journal page done today. i will try, and i will soon make up for the days i have missed. because what i quickly figured out in the first three days of the new year... is that this is so good for me. good to push through the fear and the questions and the blank page. i know i am all over the place with my art. i even took a short class this summer for "emerging artists" and it was evident that i don't have a solid direction. i love color. i love paint. i want to create with layers of paint and paper. but where do i go from there? i've spent hours creating pieces of...backgrounds! seriously...a big number of canvases or cold pressed watercolor papers just waiting for me to finish. though my degree and background is in art, i never concentrated in one medium because i had to get the teaching degree, to get the job, to support myself and my son. all well worth it for sure - i loved that i could teach art, that i could inspire others to create, and that i had time to be with gregory. but after a while i realized that i was not being inspired. i've only gone to two art retreats. i believe it's completely okay to learn methods and techniques from other artists...but i want to make sure that what i make is my own, not copies of another artists' style. do you battle that too? so now i begin a journey, this first part of it - 31 days, and more after that to be sure. a journey to discover my own creativity. last but definitely not least - thank you Misty for your praise, and to those of you who have commented. wow, i knew that was (hopefully) part of having a blog...but i kind of imagined i'd just be out here and no one would ever know. silly me

growing pains

2009-01-02T17:18:00.004-06:00

well, this little journey i am on is certainly good for my creative growth, and i do feel stretched with the different pursuits i am taking - whether it is this 31 days of art journaling, or the visual board i am working on, or another journal altogether (just for my eyes), and then working on the house to get it ready to sell this year. stretching and expanding and making me really work to understand all kinds of things. is this really only day 2? i have never been one to make new year's resolutions...so why i have jumped into so many projects at once is beyond me. but it feels really good.

happy new year

2009-01-01T21:10:00.006-06:00

and a goodbye to 2008. as i have decided to join misty mawn in her 31 days of journaling...i first had to start with a page that says farewell to 2008. this has been a year of transformation, of change, of goodbyes. going through the end of my son's sr. year, and the changes that has brought. how did my little guy grow up so fast? where did the time go? i have always wished i could have just one day back when he was 3, or 7 or even 15! the years i've had as he was growing and becoming this man have been the sweetest gift of my life. he is away at school now, and the house and my heart carry a lot of empty spaces. the great thing is that he is doing really well, and that brings much happiness and big sighs. also this year, our sweet little girl (beloved cocker spaniel) had to say goodbye. within a month of gregory leaving for school, she started a quick decline. just two months shy of 17 years with her, and the grief that came with her passing was bigger than i expected. i truly know what special companions they are to us. but i believe that these tides of life are all part of the sweetness in living it. we walk through the joys, the scary parts and the thrilling ones. the days we are given are full of opportunities to grow and love and give. i hope i walk better through them with each passing day. so...i start this new year with hope. i've got visions of what i want to accomplish, what i want to experience, what i want to witness. it's all good. my january 1 journal page is here- maybe a reflection of the book i just finished, the pillars of the earth. as i start the new year with hope...i hope i can keep up with the 31 days!!

twas the day after christmas

2008-12-26T16:19:00.009-06:00

i suppose this is as good a time as any to start...to try to formulate where i begin. a quiet day "after", my reflections began before christmas, but most of all i cannot begin another year facing my dreams and not jumping in. would this be easier if i were techie-savvy? i think so. would i make more art if i didn't have all of the fear? i definitely think so. but i am tired and bored - bored with being in the same place, tired of letting the fear win. if i don't start somewhere...then i will always just be here and i know i am up for adventure!

the "studio" i moved home over a year ago took over the dining area ( and garage). it's pretty obvious from the pic in this post that i haven't created anything lately...the table is covered in stacks of supplies, tidbits of paper, books, etc. inspiration all of it. with a couple of free days ahead i will have a chance to clear the table, clear my mind from the other distractions -if possible- and let it flow.