hiatus of sorts

i had no intention of taking so long before i was back on this little place of mine...i don't even know where the time has gone except that i have been busy....falling in love(oh yes and it is wonderful), working my a++ off...and just trying to keep up.
back in november i had the honor and fun to participate in E.A.S.T.  this is the east austin studio tour.  every november for 10 years now, visitors can peruse artists studios - hundreds of working artists- on the east side of austin texas.  it has become a great local art event and my sweet friend and previous studio-mate, business partner, fellow teacher...cari, from pigoata studios invited me to present work there along with several other wonderful artists.  it was crazy.  it was a blast.  it renewed my belief that i can do this....in whatever fashion i am able to at this time.  i loved it, and i sold almost every piece!!!  here is a sampling of my work:

 

i am making my way back into the studio and creating so many new pieces...i swear some day i will have a etsy shop.  some day.  for now, it is just the happiest place i can be, except of course...in love. xoxo

autumn in austin

 the days have been gorgeous lately, and the nights getting cooler...into the 40's even.  all of this moderate temperature is making things bloom, calling us all to be outdoors and breath in and out the serenity and beauty of each day.  

i'm falling in love in many ways ...feeling the blessings that seem to be falling on me like stars pouring down from the heavens.

i'm whispering prayers of thanks and gratitude and asking for blankets of love to wrap around these feelings, cherished moments, dreams coming true.  life is too good not to grab hold of.  

and we all deserve it, the wonderfulness of everything possible and sweet.  

amazing grace.

lingering there...holding it close, and knowing that all is right.

stronger every day

through every step we take in this life....the challenges, the celebrations, the big and small moments....we are making our way.  and as we make our way, we make choices.  are you going to let a hurt defeat you, or will you grow stronger from it?  will you grab a hold of something amazing in front of you, and let the joy expand and spill over to everything else in your life?  that would be my choice...that IS my choice.  we get strength through it all...the good and the bad. i'm taking it all in, these days that have sometimes been hard, but mostly so full and tender and sweet...loving where the path takes me.

when i was recovering this summer in colorado...this was the road i walked every day, a winding road that went past gorgeous acres filled with animals and wildflowers, and a heavenly view of the rocky mountains.  i had many companions along the way, one being rasputin...a gorgeous warmblood who i would love on and talk to every morning.  this huge horse has enough strength to crush me...but he is the sweetest boy with the most gentle spirit.

 

and then there were the puppies...providing so much humor and joy to the household.  when i was first there, they weren't this big...but they are growing so fast and recently when i returned to colorado they accompanied me on walks.  

the days were so full of big and small moments that renewed my spirit and gave me strength both physically and soulfully.  i've been home for awhile and i am back to work in all kinds of ways...jumping into life and gathering all of the sweetest surprises coming my way.  

i feel stronger than i think i ever have in my life and i wish the same for all of you. xoxo

cracked...but not broken

 

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.

                                                                                                  Leonard Cohen



 it feels like forever since i've made it over here to this little place of mine...this blog.  it's not that i didn't have anything to say or share...i guess i just had to get to that place of being ready.  i have even spent the last 3 + months wondering if having this blog was what i really needed to do anymore.  i've never been really good at keeping it up.  but it is the connection with those of you like-minded, dream-chasing artists that keep me coming back and wanting to breath in and out the stories of our lives, our souls, our passion to follow the creative gifts we've been given.
 
as i write this, i am in one of my most favorite places in the world...a place of refuge and recovery.  i am where there are views of the colorado mountains, fields of flowers and horses and bunnies...and precious family members who have embraced me and loved me and taken care of me.   i am back in colorado for a 3 month post-op of tests and visits with an unbelievably amazing neurosurgeon who took me to the operating room for major neck surgery.  this time i am here with great anticipation and excitement and a growing strength that i did not have 3 months ago when i arrived for surgery.  those days were filled with pain and anxiety and b*i*g fears.  those days are behind me.  

during these last three months, recovery has included everything from physical challenges where taking 30 steps were a big deal....to the sweet realization of what the love of family and friends can do to nurture you (knowing so deeply how blessed i am to have that)...and eventually big-hearted, happy, tender moments when hearing a favorite song made me get up and dance barefoot again.  my eyes are wide open, and my heart and body so ready to jump into this brilliant life i have been given. 

fear - less

doing happy dances over here...

my art was selected to be in Somerset Studio magazine may/june issue.

this was a call for art submissions about being fearless.

so...being brave...i submitted my two pieces and a "article".

and although my writing was not published,

this time...

i will try again.

that is a big wish of mine someday, to have my art and my words in print.

putting it out there, offering it up, saying it out loud.

these are the words i wrote for these two pieces:

What does it mean to be fearless?  The word touches me to the core of my soul.

Fearless = strength, bravery, courage. 

There are many days that I don’t feel fearless.  There have been many times in my life that I have let fear hold me back.  Fear of not being enough, fear of making the wrong choice, fear of success and fear of failure.  But when I really stand in my own true self, I realize that I have been brave beyond anything that I ever could have imagined.

As a young woman I stood strong in a failing marriage.  Standing in that shattered dream, with a baby on the way, I pushed forward on the path of being a single mom.  Having a child definitely awakens a new part of you, and for me – it drew up many kinds of fears, but it also created in me a strength and determination that I never knew I had.  This wonderful, scary, and fulfilling time of my life spent “growing” my son has meant growing for me too.  As parents, we think we will teach our children about life, but I believe it is through our parenting that we learn what life is really all about. I’ve learned so much from my “boy” – who is now 21 years old.  I’ve learned about making hard choices, and holding on to will and determination.  I’ve learned to pursue dreams and embrace life, and to really, really love.  And I’ve learned that it is not without fear that we do these things, but through the fear we gain the strength, the bravery, and the courage for life.

beeing brave

i put the words out there...whispered them into the wind, wrote them across my soul,
and labeled them in black and white.
here, on this little place of mine...that i sometimes forget can be so very public,
i wrote the words that I felt so deeply.
but did i really understand where those words would be taking me?

break. open. my. heart.

it's a scary thing...stepping into the life you know you were meant to live.  i'm learning lessons about people + myself + love + showing up.
some lessons open my heart so big and have me twirling and dancing in my bare feet.
some lessons have me down on my knees.
being brave means facing fears and pushing through them.
being brave means giving of yourself, without expecting anything in return. 
i've said before that i am a late bloomer, and some of these lessons,
you'd think I would have already learned.
but it's okay, being a late bloomer.
i'm going to bloom big + strong + beautiful.
no matter what the outcome...it is in the loving and the showing up and laying it out in black and white that we become who we truly were meant to be.
just bee.

what is blooming in you?

after what has seemed like a long dark winter...i am asking the question, seeking the answers.  

what is blooming in me?  

outside, around me -i notice the sweetness of spring beginning again. every day i notice, however brief the moment, and i dwell there in the sweetness. 

the bulbs are growing and searching and reaching for the heavens...am i?  

the birds are so playful and busy at their life work...am i?  

am i reaching for the best in life, and taking what it has to offer in this season?  

i want to move past the everyday things that tie me up and push me down.  these worldly things that sometimes make me a shadow of who i really am.  i am witnessing the growth and renewal in the gift of nature and i am trying to find the lessons in these small precious things.  

the lesson that we can never stop seeking the goodness in life.  

that we can never never never never give up.

but where to begin?  in all that rushes past everyday....where do you pick up and start again?

and then...on sunday...sitting in a pew by myself in a place that i go to for comfort.

simple words...from a humble man. 

  words spoken that were meant for all.

but for me, they were like water for a soul that has been parched and dry and empty.  

break open my heart.  

break...open...my...heart

not for sadness or hardship or grief

but open for new life.  

open to this life.